Most of us can relate to being on the receiving end of other people’s opinions and questions when it comes to having children.
Today, society has this silent pressure that you should have a good job, meet a partner, get married, and have children. Therefore, spouses who decide not to have kids must often have to justify their decision to others. People who don’t understand such a decision can be pretty clumsy and ask personal questions that are not their business whatsoever.
These questions can often be very personal and unpleasant and can make the recipient feel uncomfortable especially when asked why they’ve chosen not to be a parent.
Unfortunately, not having children can be considered the ultimate form of egoism – but when couples who are perceived as “different” want to have children together, then the view of what is egoism changes quickly…
More than two decades ago in California, Patti White received news that left her both overjoyed and deeply concerned. Her daughter Lisa had called with an announcement: she was pregnant.
Lisa, who was born with Down syndrome—a genetic condition that can affect both intellectual and physical development—had always defied expectations. While many people misunderstand the capabilities of those with Down syndrome, the truth is that many lead independent, fulfilling lives. Lisa was one of them.
At 29, Lisa had been living on her own for over a decade. She had her own apartment, a full-time job at a local Goodwill store, and was thriving in a life she built for herself. “She got along with everyone,” Patti shared in a 2016 interview with Voice. “She could do everything except run the cash register. She liked it there, and they liked her.”
Lisa had also been in a committed relationship with a man who also had Down syndrome. Though they lived separately, their relationship was healthy, respectful, and adult in every sense. Patti had even spoken openly with her daughter about topics like birth control and safe sex.
“At the time, all the books said men with Down syndrome were sterile,” Patti recalled. “People told us not to worry—they said it wasn’t possible.”
But fate had other plans.
One afternoon, Patti returned to her desk after lunch and began listening to her voicemail. One message stopped her cold—it was Lisa, practically bursting with excitement:
“Hi Mom, I just wanted you to know… you’re going to be a GRANDMOTHER!”
Patti’s mind raced. “How could this be?” she remembered thinking. “Her boyfriend has Down syndrome!”
The news shocked many, and critics quickly labeled Lisa’s decision to keep the baby as irresponsible. Some even questioned her ability to be a good mother. But Patti and the rest of the family stood firmly behind her, shielding Lisa from the negativity and supporting her every step of the way.
Lisa handled her pregnancy with grace and determination. Like many expectant mothers, she went to childbirth classes, worked closely with a pregnancy coach, and battled the usual symptoms. “It was hard for me to walk around when I was pregnant,” Lisa admitted. “I was working five days a week. I had morning sickness. I felt like I was going to throw up.”
Despite the skepticism, Lisa’s journey became a powerful testament to love, strength, and the courage to defy expectations. And as Patti would soon discover, being a grandmother was one of the greatest joys life could offer.
Lisa’s pregnancy was considered high-risk, and her doctors treated it with the utmost caution. Four weeks before her due date, Lisa gave birth to a baby boy—Nic. Like both his parents, Nic was born with Down syndrome.
Nic’s father was there for his birth, and the new family made an effort to live together shortly afterward. But the challenges proved too great, and the arrangement didn’t last. Tragically, Nic’s father passed away when Nic was just five years old.
Despite the heartbreak and the many doubts cast upon Lisa’s ability to parent, she and her mother Patti stepped up with unwavering love and determination. Today, Nic is 24 years old—a confident, kind, and strikingly handsome young man. Raised by two devoted women, he has grown into someone they are endlessly proud of.
Becoming a mother is always a leap of faith. For Lisa, that leap came with greater risks and louder criticism. Her decision to have a child cost her friendships—some parents feared Lisa’s choice would influence their own daughters to want children.
But time has a way of revealing what truly matters.
None of those fearful whispers mattered to Nic. What mattered was the home filled with love, the lessons of strength, and the unwavering support of the two women who raised him. Against all odds, Nic flourished. He graduated from college and carries a deep respect for the women who shaped his life.
“I have two moms,” Nic once said in an interview with Fabiosa. “My mom Lisa is my greatest future in my life. She gave me life, she gave me love, she gave me birth, and she is always wonderful. She is beautiful.”
In 2016, Patti posted a photo on Facebook—a radiant Lisa standing proudly beside her son, both beaming with joy. It was more than just a snapshot. It was a testament to love, perseverance, and the unbreakable bond between a mother and her child.
“This is my daughter, Lisa, clowning with her son, Nic,” Patti wrote alongside a joyful photo of the two. “They both have Down syndrome. This year marks a major milestone for us all—Lisa turns 50, Nic turns 20, and me… well, I’m older than dirt. I’m so proud of us.”
Reflecting on the journey, Patti shared what their original hope had been: “Our goal when she became pregnant was for her to know him and have a relationship with him.” That hope has been more than fulfilled. Through all the highs and lows, through every challenge and every triumph, Lisa and Nic have not only built a loving bond—they’ve defied the odds.
“As a single mom,” Patti continued, “Lisa has raised a kind, confident young man. After all these years, we can honestly say they’ve overcome the odds and built a small, beautiful family rooted in love.”
For decades, this incredible mother and son duo—alongside Patti—have quietly but powerfully shown the world the value, strength, and humanity of individuals with Down syndrome. Their story isn’t just heartwarming; it’s informative, eye-opening, and deeply needed. It offers a message of possibility for families facing similar decisions.
Patti, Lisa, and Nic are more than a family—they’re a testament to courage, love, and the power of believing in one another.
They inspire us all—and they deserve our admiration and respect.
If their story moved you, share it. Let the world see what love can do.
