Why Respecting Names and Pronouns Matters More Than Ever
Today, one of the most powerful ways to show someone respect is by using their chosen name and pronouns—regardless of whether they are straight, gay, transgender, or non-binary. It’s a simple act of recognition that affirms identity. And yet, many still cling to outdated norms, ignoring the deeply personal nature of gender and the importance of validation.
Meet Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a Father Who Gave Birth
Bennett Kaspar-Williams, 37, from Los Angeles, is a proud parent and advocate whose journey challenges traditional notions of gender and parenthood. In October 2020, Bennett gave birth to his son, Hudson, via cesarean section—supported every step of the way by his husband, Malik. At the time, Bennett identified as male and used he/him pronouns (today, he identifies as non-binary and uses both he/him and they/them).
Despite being open about his gender identity, Bennett faced repeated misgendering by hospital staff, who insisted on referring to him as “mother”—a painful reminder of how deeply ingrained gender assumptions still are in the medical world.
A Journey of Transition and Parenthood
Bennett began his transition in 2014, three years after realizing he was transgender. When he and Malik decided to start a family, Bennett paused his testosterone therapy, allowing his reproductive system to resume functioning. Though he had undergone top surgery, he had not had lower-body surgery and, after thoughtful reflection, chose to carry the child himself.
To their surprise, Bennett became pregnant naturally and quickly. “We had only been trying a short while,” he shared. “We expected the process to take longer than it did.”
Then came the pandemic. “It was about a week before lockdown began in March 2020,” Bennett recalled. “My excitement turned quickly into anxiety about how to keep myself and my baby safe.”
The Pain of Being Misunderstood
While Bennett found joy in the experience of pregnancy, what weighed heavily on him was the constant misgendering from medical staff. “The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering,” he said. Even after clearly stating his gender on medical forms, he was repeatedly labeled as “mom.”
In an interview with the New York Post, Bennett described how distressing it was to be addressed in a way that ignored his identity. “Pregnancy care in America is wrapped in this concept of ‘motherhood’ that’s inherently gendered. It was hard to escape being misgendered,” he said.
Redefining Parenthood
Bennett’s story sheds light on a vital truth: being a parent has nothing to do with one’s gender. “Being born with a uterus doesn’t guarantee that someone can—or wants to—carry a child,” he explained. “We must stop equating ‘womanhood’ with ‘motherhood.’ It’s a false assumption that all women are mothers, all mothers give birth, or that all people who give birth are mothers.”
A Family Full of Love
Now, three years later, Bennett and Malik are celebrating life as proud parents. “This sweet guy is 3 years old today! We are so lucky to be his parents,” Bennett recently shared in a touching post.
By separating pregnancy from traditional gender roles, Bennett’s journey is a powerful reminder that identity and parenthood are deeply personal and diverse experiences. His story challenges us to broaden our understanding and practice compassion in action—starting with something as simple as respecting how someone identifies.
