Eric Clapton’s tragic last promise to his son, who died after falling 53 floors
As many people know, 79-year-old Eric Clapton lost his young son in a terrible freak accident, leaving him devastated.
Few are aware of the artist’s deeply emotional final promise to his 4-year-old son: “He would still be alive if I hadn’t looked at the fax.”
On March 20, 1991, Eric Clapton’s world was forever changed by an unfathomable tragedy—the heartbreaking loss of his four-year-old son, Conor, in a devastating accident.
Conor tragically fell from a Manhattan apartment window on the 53rd floor while in New York with his mother, the Italian actress Lory Del Santo. After the maid had finished cleaning, the window was left slightly ajar. In a fleeting moment, Conor, racing past the open window, fell to his death.
“They had left the window open,” Lory recalled. “Eric was on his way to pick up Conor. Before I went to check on him, I glanced at the fax machine. It was only a few seconds later that I arrived—he was gone. He would still be alive if I hadn’t looked at the fax.”
Conor’s life was tragically cut short just weeks before his fifth birthday. Upon hearing the news, Clapton, who was in another part of New York at the time, rushed to the scene.
“Eric froze when I told him,” Lory shared. “He just stopped, completely still. He didn’t speak. It felt like everything had come to a halt. After Conor passed away, Eric and I lost our connection.”
At the time of the tragic incident, Lory Del Santo and Eric Clapton were no longer together. Lory and Conor had traveled to New York to spend Easter with Clapton, and she had full custody of their son.
The day before the tragedy, on March 19, Clapton took Conor to the Long Island circus—an outing that would unknowingly become their last day together. Clapton had eagerly bought tickets, hoping to create unforgettable memories with his son. They spent a joyful day watching the clowns and elephants, completely unaware that it would be their final moments together.
Biographer Philip Norman, in his book Slowhand: The Life and Music of Eric Clapton, wrote, “That sawdust-scented afternoon showed him what he’d been missing.”
When they returned to the apartment, Conor was buzzing with excitement, talking animatedly about the circus. Clapton, moved by the experience, told Lory that he was determined to be a better father moving forward, not knowing that just hours later, their lives would be shattered.
Clapton had been looking forward to a brighter future with Lory and Conor. He hoped to convince them to move to London and live with him, excited at the prospect of spending more time with his son. That day, he had promised Conor lunch at a local Italian restaurant and a visit to the Bronx Zoo the following day. But tragically, those plans were shattered that very morning, as Lory was getting dressed and Conor played joyfully around the apartment, filled with innocent excitement. Then, in the blink of an eye, disaster struck.
Withdrawn from the Spotlight
Devastated by the loss, Clapton retreated from the public eye. In the agonizing days following Conor’s death, Clapton, alongside Conor’s maternal relatives from Italy, carried his son’s body back from New York to prepare for the funeral.
Conor was laid to rest in Ripley, a small village in Surrey, England—Clapton’s childhood home. Ripley, situated about 25 miles southwest of London, held a deep emotional connection for Clapton, who had grown up there. Overcome with grief, Clapton sought solitude in Antigua, where he rented a small house and lived alone for more than a year. During that time, he turned to music as a way to cope with his heartache, barely speaking to anyone as he tried to navigate his sorrow.
“I got hooked on this small Spanish string guitar I had when they went. I traveled to Antigua, leased a small cottage in a village, and spent nearly a year there playing this guitar, swatting mosquitoes all day, trying to heal myself and avoiding much interaction with the outside world,” Clapton recalled. During that time, music became his sanctuary. He spent countless hours writing, rewriting, and performing songs, desperate to find a way to channel his overwhelming emotions. “I was able to come out because all I could do was write and play these songs, and I rewrote and re-performed them over and over again until I felt like I had made some sort of move towards the surface of my being,” he shared.
Conor’s Letter
Eventually, Clapton transformed his grief into music. He collaborated with lyricist Will Jennings to co-write Tears in Heaven, a song originally intended for a movie soundtrack. However, it evolved into one of Clapton’s most personal and poignant compositions, a cathartic expression of his sorrow and a heartfelt tribute to his beloved son, Conor.
Amidst the devastating loss of his son, Clapton received a letter from Conor that shattered him even more. With the help of his mother, Lory Del Santo, Conor had written his first letter to his father just days before the tragic accident. Sadly, the letter didn’t arrive at Clapton’s London home until after Conor had passed away.
“The baby had learned to write a few words, and he said to me, ‘Oh mummy, I want to write a letter to daddy, what shall I write?’” Lory recalled, her voice filled with the pain of the memory. “Well, write ‘I love you,’ I told him. That’s what he wrote, and we sent it off like any other letter.”
After Conor’s passing, Lory and Eric traveled to London for the burial. It was then, shortly after the ceremony, that Eric opened his mail to find Conor’s letter. “I will never forget that moment,” Lory said, as the raw emotion of that memory lingered, forever etched in her heart.
